Do This in Memory of Me

This is a reflection shared at the Holy Week liturgy.

April 16 , 2025

What do you bring to the table? Whom do you bring to the table? And why? I imagine these questions were on Jesus’ mind as he was thinking about the Last Supper.

“Do this in memory of me.” We hear that sentence at every Mass…maybe one of Jesus’ most quoted lines from the entire Gospel. Do this in memory of me. It’s obviously a quote from the story of Holy Thursday, the story of that Last Supper. Of course in a direct sense, Jesus was instituting what Christians now know as the Eucharist or Holy Communion. He’s asking us to repeat the breaking of bread and sharing of wine not just as a way of remembering him, but as a way of making him truly present with us…a divine encounter. Receiving Communion, an encounter with the divine.

Do this in memory of me. Jesus was a pretty smart guy. My faith moves me to believe he was talking about even more than that when he said those words. Do this in memory of me. Gather people around the table. Be inclusive, recognizing that being inclusive can mean being vulnerable. My brothers, that’s the costliness of love and leadership: sharing space, breaking bread, with people as they are, in their imperfections, in their beauty, in their beliefs that may differ strikingly from mine, in their humanity. Welcome people to your table.

Do this in memory of me. Jesus washes his best friends’ feet while they are gathered at the table. He is calling us to a different kind of leadership, one of radical humility. Radical humility. Recognizing that sometimes leadership is unglamorous. Sometimes leading is not pretty, is not beautiful. But hopefully it is filled with self-giving love. It is selfless. No surprise it’s Peter who initially pushes back, and says, “Jesus, you’re never going to wash my feet.” It doesn’t fit with Peter’s assumptions about leadership. But Jesus insists.

Do this in memory of me. When we think of the story of the Last Supper we think of specific actions, but we might forget it is also at this specific point, this last gathering with his best friends before his death, when Jesus tells us this: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Our faith tells us that he wasn’t just talking to the apostles but sharing the very core, the epicenter of his message. And of all the things, my brothers, that you have learned or will learn at Saint Peter’s Prep, this is the one. Dare I say this is the most important. Love one another. Courageously. Unashamedly.

When I put these thoughts together yesterday I realized it was the two-year anniversary Fr. Tony Azzarto’s passing. For those who might not remember, Fr Azzarto was a part of Prep in one way or another for 60 years…officially as teacher, counselor, chaplain, and retreat director, but also as a Jesuit priest who married, buried, and baptized countless members of our community. I am sure that he baptized some of you, and looking out at our faculty and staff, I know he married some of you, and I know he buried some of our parents.

Love one another.

When Fr. Tony would say Mass, just before Communion, he would say these following words about Jesus that have stuck with so many of us:

“He has come to the table and eaten our bread. He has walked in the cool of the evening with the people he called his friends. His tears were real, his joy intense, his prayer that we should love one another. “

This was Fr. Azzarto’s way of reminding us to love one another. As he liked to say: it’s no big deal. It’s no big deal. At the end of the day this is something anybody can do. But everybody is called to do it.

Quick story about four guys: named anybody and everybody, and their friends somebody and nobody.

There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t. It ended with Everybody blaming Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

So as we go into this Easter break, let’s remember that Jesus leaves us at the Last Supper with some things everybody should be doing: Welcome all people at your table, even though our differences can make that seem challenging. Find that incredible strength to lead with radical humility; don’t think you’re too good to wash somebody’s feet. And above all, love one another. Jesus leaves us with this work to do. And gentlemen, I promise you this is not easy…this is not an easy way to lead. But I also promise you it’s a little bit easier when you do these things together, standing shoulder to shoulder and heart to heart.

Let me close with this. This is the last time we will gather this school year as an entire Prep community. So seniors, this means this is the last time ever you will be at a Saint Peter’s Prep all school mass or assembly. And I want to remind you as seniors, and all of you…even those of you who have only been here for about eight months…that you were born to be Marauders. You were meant to go to high school in downtown Jersey City. You were meant to be educated in our Jesuit tradition. You were born to be here.

First, I want you to think about the top three people for whom you are most grateful in 2024. Think about them and then write them down. Literally, with pen and paper, write the list. And if it’s longer than three, great. It may be a parent, a coach, a teacher, brother, sister, a significant other. It may be a best friend. Write their names down. And then I challenge you to not just feel grateful. Find time to be grateful. Be intentional and reach out to them and say thank you, and do that a lot.

Second, I challenge you to think about your top three moments when you were your best self…again, literally, write it down. Now I’m not saying when you had your best times…I’m saying when you were your best self. What do I mean by that? It could be a time when you gave your very best…when you were physically, mentally, even emotionally exhausted, because you gave everything you got. Maybe that’s academics, maybe that’s athletics. Maybe you were your best self working in and through a relationship.

It could also be a time when you messed up and said you were sorry, a time you owned a mistake and said, “That’s my fault,” or a time when someone apologized to you and you said, “I forgive you. We are good.” It could be a time when someone was hurting or sad and you reached out…or a time when you heard a racial slur or a homophobic slur and you said, “Dude. C’mon. That’s not right, don’t say that.” None of these things are easy to do, but they bring out your best self. Truly, make that list, think hard about this one, and I challenge you to ask yourself: “What does this say about my character?”…or, said another way: “Who am I?”

Third, think about the top three moments that made you laugh in 2024, and then write them down. The times that brought great smiles to your face, or made you laugh so much that you couldn’t control it—a laugh that hurt your belly or brought tears to your eyes. Maybe around the table in the commons or on the commute to Prep or maybe in your favorite teacher’s classroom.

My challenge on this one is to also search for times you laughed at yourself…when you didn’t take yourself so seriously…when you smiled and reminded yourself that sometimes what you were worried about really wasn’t that important…the times when you opened your eyes to reality instead of being worried about perception and said, “I’ve got to slow my roll; it’s all good.”

So after you make these three lists…won’t take long. Great. Maybe take some time over break and share some of what you thought about and wrote down with a friend or two…because that’s what friends do. They share reflections, they share top ten lists, they let their guards down in front of each other, and they listen to each other. Really listen to each other. It strengthens the brotherhood.

I know I’m asking you to think a bit, write a bit, and share a bit. I’ve got one more for you. I’m asking you to pray a bit. Just take a little time, even 30 seconds and say, “God, here are my three lists for the year. Thanks for the people, thanks for the times that helped me live out my best self, and thanks for the laughs.” God is listening, and God loves you an awful, awful lot. More than any of us could possibly comprehend. I promise.

So find some time to work on those lists, and I’m not going to ask you to submit this on Canvas. I’m not going to check your work. I do know, though, that writing helps us think a little bit more deeply about things, and I know that it’s important to pray. Give it a shot.

So with Christmas break just 30 seconds ahead of us, I close with words from Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize winner, who writes: “The ancient dream: a cold, clear night made brilliant by a glorious star, the smell of incense, shepherds and wise men falling to their knees in adoration of the sweet baby, the incarnation of perfect love.” In my heart, I believe that you, all of you…faculty, staff, coaches…and my Prep brothers…I believe that you give us a glimpse of God’s perfect love. Maybe hard to imagine. But you are a glimpse of God’s perfect love. My hope for you is that you believe the same thing and see the same thing.

May the joy of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, the worship of the wise men, and the peace of the Christ child be yours this Christmas.

Sub Umbra Petri,